Just Hold Me And Promise Everything Will Be Fixed
by BloodAsMyInk16
Summary: Set after season 2 finale. TW: Depression, self harm. Jane is self harming when Maura stops talking to her after she shoots Paddy Doyle. What happens when Maura finds her, wrists slit and bleeding out in her bedroom? Can they get back to normal? And how will they deal with the fallout from the attempted suicide? And what happens when a troublesome ex shows up? Review please
1. Chapter 1

Just Hold Me And Promise Everything Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 1:

'Dear Maura

I'm so sorry. Not just about this but about everything. Firstly, I took the easy way out, leaving you this, I should've said what I had to say in person instead of this, right?

Secondly, I did what I did to protect you, me, everyone. I know you cant see that but I did. Paddy Doyle would've shot us, not you, but us cops, just to get away.

He could've killed us. But you don't see that, you see me as the bitch who shot your father. And I'm not sorry I shot him, I'm sorry I've hurt you Maura..

I didn't mean to upset you, but what if his bullet hit me? Then what, he wouldn't miss the kill shot, not with his aim. He'd kill me, without a second thought. But of course you are that naive you don't see that.

You are the dumbest genius I know.

Yet, thats one of the things I love most about you. God.. This is draining me. How can you just..stop talking to your best friend? Just like that. I guess you can.

Well its been 63 days since all this started, yes I'm that sad I kept count, I've had too, that was last time you said my name with a soft, caring tone that made me think you cared maybe even loved me too.

Maura, please forgive me, for all of this, and just know I love you too much to say goodbye in person.. Thats if you'd talk to me. Well I'd hope you would've

I love you Maura.

Please remember me for the good reasons, not the one mistake I made. Well, two, the other was not telling you I loved you sooner. I'd like to think you feel the same.

Forgive me

Your best friend

Jane'

You fold the letter and scrawl her name across the back of the page. Hoping she'd care enough to read it. You didn't write anything for anyone else, they all know how you felt about them. Maura didn't. The person you've spent most of the last four years with didn't know how truly felt for them. What a fucking coward. You are such a coward.

You hear your cell phone ringing but ignore it, you cant really talk now. That would be an interesting conversation 'yes, I'm good, just considering dying, you?'

What if its Maura. No, it wouldn't be. She's probably deleted your number.

You sigh thinking of the woman again.

She has been nothing but amazing to you since you met her that day undercover in the café.

But look, things change, people change.

Before you realise you have the knife to your wrist, just grazing it across the skin. Hoping a light bulb will come on, show you another escape from this problem.

But no. No light, no escape. No point.

'Just stop being a fucking coward and do it..' You urge yourself staring down at the blade resting in your palms, the scars on your hands from Hoyt's scalpels paining now more than ever.

Just stop the pain.

End this hurt.

Just do it.

You push the blade down hard enough to draw blood and the adrenaline flows around your body, dimming the pain, albeit only slightly. You see the red drops hit the cream carpet on your bedroom floor and you smile

'She would scold me for making a mess' you laugh, blood gushing harder as you dig the blade deeper

You feel your vision blurring and thats when you see her. This is a dream, she wouldn't be here for you. She hasn't set foot in here in 63 days. Why would she be here now?

You pull away as she grabs your arms

"Let me die! Stop please.. Just let me die" you whine and she wraps your wrists in your bed sheet

"I cant do that Jane. Not like this. Not without talking to you properly" she whispers and you lean against her, feeling her warm skin in contrast to your ice cold cheeks

"I love you Maura" you say horsely and you feel her tears as she kisses your cheek

"I love you too Cara"

You smile at her Italian nickname. Its back to normal. She doesn't hate you. Thats perfect. Its all you really needed to hear. Thats the last thought you have before you close your eyes and stop fighting.

The perfect way to say goodbye.


	2. Chapter 2

Just Hold Me And Promise Everything Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 2:

You feel her hand, her soft hand resting in your tough, scared, calloused ones and you hear her. Is she talking? You cant make it out.

After a minute you realise shes crying. Quietly, its just barley noticeable, and thats only when you listen.

You want to hold her. Kiss her tears away. But then you remember, you caused her this pain. All this is your fault. You hurt her. And even if she forgives you for this, you will find some way to fuck it all up again, you'd have to.

Its you.

Thats when you hear her, shes moved closer to you, close enough that you think she is up on the bed

"Please Cara, please. Fight. Fight for me" you hear the pain in her voice then your Mother is in the room, her rough Italian voice hitting your ears

"Maura, sweetheart, go home. Its been two weeks. Go out of the hospital, get some decent food and rest. I'll sit here until you get back, I promise, she wont be alone"

Two weeks? Okay, so it hasn't been the few hours like you had though. Poor Maura, sitting here, waiting for me to open my eyes.

I still cant. Why, I don't know, or understand? Maybe Doctor Smartypants has a fun fact on it.

You smile inside thinking of Maura, happy. God.. This is just.. I wish I would either wake up or die, waiting around for one or the other is bullshit.

xx

You 'wake' some time later later. Eyes still not opening. But Maura's back, you hear her talking to someone but you don't recognise the voice

"-Soon. We are expecting her to wake any minute now"

"Thank you Juliet" Maura says and you hear her heals click on the tiled floor. You wonder what shes wearing. That little pink dress that looks so flattering on her? Or maybe the pattern dress, with the flower print.

I bet she looks stunning, as always. Jesus you have it bad.

You feel her hand graze from your elbow to your shoulder

"Jay? Can you hear me. Please, please wake up" she coos and you desperately try to open your eyes, thats when you see it, the crack of light in the darkness.

One eye opens a fraction. The other should follow soon.

xx

When your eyes do open and your vision is clear you see her carmel locks fanned out around her face.

"Cara, you're awake!" She whispers and places her soft lips to my cheek "How are you feeling"

You nod "Okay Maur"

"Really okay, or.."

"Please Maur" you stop her looking down to your wrists that have a light layer of bandage on them "Not yet"

She holds your hand "Whenever your ready, I'm here"

"You mean you don't hate me?"

"No, I don't hate you Cara, I couldn't. I was angry. I never hated you" she said voice hushed

"Thank you" you say, tears steaming down your face and she wipes them away

"I read your letter Jane" she says as she sweeps her thumb across your cheek "I'm sorry. Sorry I made you feel that way. Act like I didn't care. I've always cared, always and I'm so sorry I messed that up and caused you all this pain.."

"Maur, you didn't, I hurt you, I shouldn't have taken the shot-"

"Forget it. You did what you thought was right and you saved yourself and three other people, myself included. He'd do anything to escape, even hurt me"

"I wouldn't let him" you grit out and she smiles, a big smile, one that puts life into her eyes. I missed that smile

"I know you wouldn't Cara.."

"Lay with me Maur"

She looks at the bed and I lift my arm to place around her and she crawls into my embrace. After over two months, you are holding the woman you are crazily in love with again. Knowing, she loves you too.

Funny how happiness comes and goes so quickly, isn't it?


	3. Chapter 3

Just Hold Me And Promise Everything Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 3:

You have a bad feeling. A really bad feeling. You've never felt this way before. Barry just called, Jane isn't picking up. He's worried. He says its best if a doctor is there in case she is sick.

You drive fast, breaking all the limits just to get to her house. You pull into the drive way and see Jane's bedroom curtains closed. Maybe its just a headache? No. Something isn't right. You decide not to wait for Barry, tapping on Jane's door, no answer. You try the door, its open. Okay.

You search the lower levels of the house, all clear.

You walk to her bedroom and knock on the door. No answer.

Come on Jane! Just say something..

After several more knocks and still no answer, you decide to walk in, you see her laid out on the carpet, blood mixing with the fabric. Her face as white as the carpet she's laying on.

You rush to her side and place your fingers on her neck.. No pulse. Nothing.. Shes dead. You cry hysterically as you study your best friends lifeless body. What a waste.. And you caused it. You the esteemed Medical Examiner drove your best friend to suicide..

"-Maura! Wake up! Maur!" You say looking down at the younger woman who is crying and whimpering while clearly asleep.

"Maura? Come on, baby, wake up"

Jane shakes the Medical Examiner and she begins to lift from her daze and she realises the tears streaking her face

"Jane.." she sobs and you hold her closer to you and whisper in her ear "Don't cry Maura. You're okay"

Maura shifts her head, burying her face further into your neck

"It was you"

You look at her, eyes wide.

"Oh, okay.."

"Maur.. Can I ask you something?"

Maura nods, hardly finding her voice

"Did you mean what you said at my house? Do you honestly love me?"

"More than anything" Maura says taking your hand, which you squeeze

"I'm sorry Maura-"

"-We need to stop apologising Cara"

Jane nods "Yeah.. We do"

xx

"-Shes a freaking Doctor just let me go with her!" Jane said to the doctor as Maura threw her a dirty look

"Miss Rizzoli-" the doctor starts and Maura cuts in

"Detective Rizzoli"

"Detective Rizzoli" the doctor amends "We cant let you out"

Maura sighs "I'll stay with her, the whole time. I'll make sure she's taken care of, please, keeping her here is just further distressing her. I'll make sure she is okay. We'll sign out AMA"

The doctor sighs "Okay, fine I'll get the forms"

The doctor walks out and Jane takes Maura into a hug "Thank you. Thank you so much Maur"

"No problem Jane. I know you, you hate it here. But I'm staying with you"

Jane smiles "I wouldn't expect any less Maur"


	4. Chapter 4

Just Hold Me And Promise Everything Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 4:

"Jane... Can I talk to you?" Maura asks as they lay on the couch together that evening

Jane looks up to the younger woman "Sure.."

"I-I was just wondering...how are you feeling?"

Jane nods and sits up "I cant say I feel one hundred percent, because I don't.. But I feel better than I did over the last few months"

Maura takes her hand "Thats good Cara... Jane, I know we said we'd stop saying sorry but I just.. I want you to know that I really didn't mean for you to feel like this. I was angry, really angry and instead of acting mature about it and talking to you, I-I just zoned you out. I'm sorry"

"Its alright Maura. I should've talked to you, tried harder.."

"Its not alright though.. I caused all this Jane. I-I should've just talked it out with you instead of.."

Jane moves closer to her "You didn't cause this. Please don't feel guilty. We-We just drifted apart because of what I did. And I'm sorry, so sorry Maura, I tried to stop. I did, I promise. I didn't want to do it at first, but then I thought, nobody cares.. Why should I bother.."

Maura squeezes the woman's hand, tears drifting down her cheeks "I'm sorry, so sorry Jane"

"Can we just forget it Maur? We cant place blame for this, I just, missed you"

"I missed you too Cara"

AN: This chapter is so short and I'm sorry but I'm distinguishing it from the others for a reason. Review please.


	5. Chapter 5

Just Hold Me And Promise Everything Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 5:

Its been two weeks and Jane felt smothered. Maura literally wouldn't let the raven haired detective out of her sight.

Jane couldn't take it anymore as they lay together that evening. Jane decided to go to bed and try and sleep, just to get away from the medical examiner for a little while

"I'm going to go to bed Maur, see you in the morning" Jane said standing from the couch and Maura looked up at her

"You alright?"

"Yeah. Just tired. You can watch tv or something. No point in you going to sleep so early"

"No, its okay. I'll be in in a few minutes"

Jane turned around

"Okay Maura please! Just stop! Seriously you wont let me out of your sight! I'm okay. Just stop freaking following me around!"

"I'm just anxious Jane!"

"Well stop! Please. Dear Jesus Maura!"

"Jane I'm scared okay? I just... don't you to do anything"

"I couldn't possibly with you breathing down my neck Maura! Ease up a little. I'm not telling you to leave but I'm telling you its okay to go grocery shopping without me!"

"You couldn't possibly do anything? Does that not show you why I don't want to leave you?"

Jane sighed and walked to the door, putting on her jacket

"Where are you going?" Maura asked

Jane spun around "Out. I'm going out of MY apartment. Alone. And don't worry I might just be able to control my urge to jump into the rivers and jump under trains until I come home"

"Don't joke about it Jane" Maura breathed out as Jane left.

xx

Jane walked into her third bar of the evening and as she sat at the bar she realised she knew the pianist who was just finishing her set onstage

Jane smiles as she see the blonde woman and when shes finished the set Jane walks up to her

"Annabel?"

The woman turns and smiles at the detective "Jane? Jane Rizzoli? Oh my god!"

Jane hugged the woman and smiled "Wow, We haven't talked in.. what, 5 years?"

"Yeah, about that. How have you been?"

"Okay. You?"

"Good. Good. So what are you doing here?" Annabel asked

"Fight.."

Annabel laughed "Somethings never change, eh?"

Jane smiles "I have a good habit, why break it?"

"So, why are you and the girlfriend fighting about?" Annabel asked

"What makes you assume its a woman, That could've been a phase?" Jane smiled

"Because I remember what you were like in bed.. No Man could handle you"

Jane laughed "Good point.. Is there somewhere we could talk in private?"

"Sure. My flat?"

Jane nods "Perfect"

xx

"...Wow Jane. Thats a lot to go through in a few months"

"Yeah well I warned you it wasn't a light story.."

"Yeah, you were right. I'm so sorry that woman made you feel like that" Annabel replied

"I love her Annabel. So much, but she needs to trust me a little"

"Jane its only been a couple of weeks. But, You need to cut this Maura chick a break. She obviously cares for you and she just wants you to be okay"

"I know. I know she does but I don't know, that night, she told me she loved me and she's said it a couple of times since but we never really talked about what we were really doing?"

Annabel nods "She doesn't want to add pressure to you Jane. Trust me, she's just trying to take it easy on you. Give her a chance"

Jane nods "Annabel, I know its a lot to ask but could I stay-"

"Of course. I'll get you some sheets"

"Thank you"

Jane watches Annabel leave and realises the woman is as attractive as when they were in a relationship years ago

"Jane, you're staring" Annabel smiles as she sits back beside the woman

Jane blushes "Sorry"

"I'm not complaining"

The women continued to talk for a couple of hours and as the night wore on Jane felt herself laugh freer than she had in months

She really had missed this woman.

"I missed you" Jane said and Annabel leaned closer to her

"I've missed you too Jay" she whispers

Jane sighed feeling the woman's breath on her ear

"Jane, from the sounds of it that Doctor doesn't deserve you. You deserve to be happy. I can make you happy"

Annabel leans in and captures Jane lips in her own

Jane jumps back "Oh god. No, Annabel I cant do this to Maura. I love her. Too much to fuck it up."

"You deserve better"

"You haven't met her. She's the best. I'm sorry. Thanks for talking with me, but thats just showed me where I need to be. Goodbye Annabel"

"Bye Jane" the woman says as Jane walks out the apartment door.

Jane sat on the bus home staring at her phone showing the picture of he and Maura smiling and hugging.

What had she just done..


	6. Chapter 6

Just Hold Me And Promise Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 6:

Jane walked in and Maura stalked to her

"Thank God! Jane it's 2am! Where the hell did you go?!"

"I'm sorry Maur.. I had to think.."

Maura sighs "For five hours?!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to worry you.."

"You did Jane! A lot!"

"I'm sorry... Maura, I-I met an old friend.."

"Okay? Who?"

"Annabel Morris. She used to be.. my girlfriend"

Maura looked up questioningly "Okay? Why are you telling me this Jane. You've seen an old friend.."

"Thats where I've been for five hours. At her house"

"Doing what?" Maura asked slightly angrier now

"Talking mostly.."

"Mostly?"

"We talked for a couple of hours. Just catching up in everything.. I was going to leave when she.. kissed me"

"She what?!" Maura said rage boiling up inside

"Maura! Calm down, please.." Jane rested her hands on Maura's shoulders "I stopped her then left.."

Maura nods and kisses Janes cheek

"Goodnight"

Jane grabs her hand "Hey. Don't. Don't push me away. I didn't kiss her"

"I know. I'm giving your space like you said you wanted, I wouldn't want to 'breathe down your throat'.."

Jane keeps her hold "I love you"

"Love you too" Maura said quietly walking into the bedroom..

xx

Maura lay awake that night, thinking Jane might try something.

She takes out her laptop and searches Annabel Morris.

She sees the woman, a model. A beautiful blonde with large breasts. She could see the attraction.

Then she remembered, this woman kissed her girlfriend.

Kissed Jane Rizzoli. Who just happens to be her ex girlfriend.

Maura huffed "Bitch" she mumbled and then mentally chided herself for swearing.

There was a knock on the door and Maura walked over and opened it, Jane falling into her embrace

"Please let me stay in here"

"I never said you couldn't" she whispers

"Maura I'm sorry" Jane sobbed "I-I didn't let her. I stopped her and told her I loved you. Please don't be mad"

"I'm not mad. I'm not, Cara. Not at you. At her. You were upset but you pulled away. Promise me that, promise me you didn't kiss her back"

"I didn't. I swear Maur. I didn't. I stopped her straight away and left! I promise"

Maura nodded "Come lay down"

"Maura' I'm sorry I've been... Horrible the last few days. I-I don't mean to treat you badly. I promise I'll get better at this. I will."

Maura nods "I..know Jane. This will all be normal again. When we both get back to normal again. It'll all be okay. Now, one last thing, thank you for telling me, the problem gets bigger when you hide it.."

"I know. Maura, thank you"

"For what?"

"I know if the roles were reversed I wouldn't be as accepting of this. I'd be fit to kill the person who kissed you... Thanks for being calm"

"I'm not calm. I'm boiling inside. But I love you. I don't want to risk anything.. Getting arrested for murder wouldn't be a good thing"

Jane smiles "I love you too Maura and as I said, I will try harder from now on okay? I promise"

"Just sleep Cara. Don't panic about anything, I'm here for you"


	7. Chapter 7

Just Hold Me And Promise Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 7:

"Dr Isles right?"

Maura turned around to see the blonde woman standing in her doorway

"I'm a friend of Jane's-"

Maura scoffed "-Annabel, I've heard"

"She told you?" Annabel asked and Maura left down her scalpel

"That you kissed her? Yes she did tell me."

"She told you? What did she say?"

"Okay, Miss Morris, leave. Please, leave. You have messed with Jane's head enough, leave her alone, leave me alone.."

"Dr Isles, I just want to help.."

"Help? Do you think any of this is helping? Jane is unwell and you are just screwing with her head. She told me everything that happened Annabel, this morning she told me every detail, every word you spoke..."

"What did she say I said?"

"You know what you said, I know what you said. What I'm focused in is the fact that MY girlfriend left when you kissed her. She left you when you tried to advance on her and then she came home to me. Thats all I need to know about last night. Now Miss Morris, leave.."

Just then Jane walked in

"Maur did you get the-"

She looks up "What are you doing here?"

"Chatting to Dr Isles" Annabel said cooly

"Leave" Jane bit out

Maura sighed "Annabel, just go... By the way if you ever turn up my area of work unannounced again, I will insist to have you removed.."

Annabel smiled at Jane as she walked to the door "Bye Jay"

Jane threw her a dirty look as she walked out

"What did she say? Maur, I'm so sorry, I didn't know-"

"I know you didn't. She just kept asking what you told me. Jane, This is the last time I'll ask, this morning, did you tell me everything?"

"Yes Maura, I promise, every word, from the bar right up until I left"

Maura nods "Okay. Jane, lets be clear, I wouldn't usually stand for this, but she clearly messed with you. And I know, you told me you checked her out, I have to admit, I checked her out. She is a stunningly beautiful woman. But Jane, I love you. I want us to forget this. Forget all this, the fights, everything and just be us again. Can we do that?"

"I can if you can?"

Maura nods "I can."

I can at least try..


	8. Chapter 8

Just Hold Me And Promise Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 8:

Everything had seemed to have gotten back to normal. Maura and Jane were happy and Annabel hadn't shown her face in over two months now.

Or thats how it looked.

Jane sat in the bath that evening staring down at her wrists. The fading scars, the proof of her self inflicted pain, were still raised up from her porcelain skin.

For the first time in a while she had the urge to cut. That didn't scare her, what scared her was she had no reason why she felt like this and she still did.

She held the razor in her hand and her head was screaming at her to just shave and get out, but that little voice in her head stopped her

'You are worthless. You act like the big tough badass detective when all you really are is a wimp. A coward. Pathetic. You don't deserve someone as amazing as Maura.. You should've died that day, she should've never saved you'

Jane nearly drops the razor when she thinks all this. Where did all that come from?

"M-Maura" she shouts from the bathroom, distress in her voice and she hears the woman's high heels click on the tiled floor

"Jane? Did you call me?"

"Yeah.."

Maura opens the bathroom door and stands in shock when she sees Jane holding the razor over her wrists, visibly shaking

"I don't want to do it.. Help me. Help me Maura"

Maura strips off quickly and sits into the bath with the detective.

She wraps her hands around the razor and takes it, from a still shaking, Jane.

"Jane. What made you call me?"

Jane shakes her head, wiping her tears "I-I don't know? You are here for me. You help me and I needed help.."

"You did. Jane, what made you want to do this?" Maura said clinically

Jane shakes her head, her eyes burning from crying

"I don't know"

Maura heard the fright in the detectives voice. That scared her.

Maura shifts in the bath and sits behind the woman, wrapping her hands around Jane's wrists

"I'll protect you. I'll keep you safe. Safe from you"

Jane rests her head on the woman's bare shoulder and Maura feels her tears still flow quickly

"Jane. Whatever this was, we'll help. We'll make it better. I'll make it better"

"I don't deserve you" Jane sobbed and Maura lifted her chin

"Hey. Don't you dare think like that." Maura said firmly enough for the woman to listen "It's not about anybody 'deserving' anybody. We love each other. As long as we love one another and help one another, we deserve to be together"

Jane nods "I-I love you and I'm sorry"

"Don't be sorry. All that matters is you keep talking to me. If you ever feel like this again, don't hesitate to call me..."

"I know.."

"Come on, lets get out. Dinner should be ready"

Jane nods "Thank you.."

Maura kisses her cheek "No problem.. And Jane? Thank you for trusting me enough to talk to me"

They both got out out the bath and walked back down to the kitchen, Maura holding Jane's hand the whole time.


	9. Chapter 9

Just Hold Me And Promise Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 9:

"Cara? Are you feeling better?" Maura asks and Jane nods as she eats her soup

Maura sits next to her girlfriend and pulls her close "You look tired"

"...I am" Jane replied pushing her face into Maura's neck

"You want to sleep?"

Jane nods "Here?"

Maura lays the woman down and walks to the bedroom retrieving a blanket and some cushions.

She lays back beside the detective and wraps the blanket around them both

"Sleep Cara. I'll be here when you wake up"

"Promise?"

"Of course dear. Honestly, get some sleep"

Jane just sighs and wraps Maura in an embrace.

xx

_You run into the bedroom praying shes still there. As you swing open the door you see the closet, empty. Her stylish dresses and skirt suits, gone. All gone._

_You look around the bedroom, all her belongings and nicknacks gone._

_You take out your cell but just as you hit call you see a note on the bed_

_'Cara, _

_ I'm so sorry. I couldn't do this anymore. I love you but I just had to go. You will always be my love but I just couldn't. Please feel better Cara._

_ -Maura x'_

_You see the tears hit the page as you read the note again and again. She left. You drove her away. You dumb bitch. This is your fault. All your fault._

"Maura! Please!" Jane cries and the Medical Examiner shoots awake seeing the distressed woman beside her

"Cara! Jane! Jane! Wake up!" Maura says to the distressed woman

Jane wakes in a cold sweat which is in contrast with the hot tears streaking her face.

"M-Maur? You..." Maura holds the woman close as Jane sobs into her

"Cara. Sweetheart, it's okay. Jane, We're safe. You're safe. I'm here"

Jane shakes her head "You weren't. In my head, you weren't. You left. Gone. Because of me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't go. Don't leave me, please"

Maura rubs her back "Never. Never Cara. I wont leave. I promise, never again"

Jane continues to cry into the woman until she tires herself out and falls asleep. Maura lays awake running her fingers through the woman's hair

Before she falls asleep she whispers "I love you Jane. I'll never leave, sweetheart, never"


	10. Chapter 10

Just Hold Me And Promise Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 10:

Maura walks into the kitchen the next evening after work to the smell of pasta.

"Jane?" She calls and the detective walks around the corner dressed in a deep purple dress

Maura smiles "Whats all this then?"

"Our first date" Jane smiles

"We're two years too late don't you think?" Maura laughs

"Better late than never, right?"

Jane pulls out the chair for the younger woman who sits into it smiling

"Thank you" Maura says as Jane pours her a glass of wine "What made you to decide to do this tonight?"

"I was sick of waiting dear.. Now, I'm making pasta carbonara, is that alright?"

"Perfect Cara" Maura smiles

xx

"What did you think?" Jane asks seeking the approval of the younger woman

"It was delicious Jane. Gorgeous. Thank you" Maura says standing and kissing the detective

"More wine?"

"No thank you honey, I've had enough. What should we do now?"

Jane smiles "I have one idea-"

"-Not that. Just, wait? I want it to be special"

Jane nods "You're right. How about a movie?"

Maura smiles "Sure. Any preference.."

xx

"Maur... Sweetie, you're falling asleep" Jane whispered softly to the dozing woman

Maura moans and Jane smiles "Okay then"

Jane carries the woman to the bedroom and places her into their bed.

Jane settles the woman and lays in beside her

"Sweet dreams Maur. Sleep well"

Maura curls in close to her and Jane smiles. Perfection.

xx

The light cracks in through the curtains and it hits Maura's face, waking her.

She rolls over and realises she is still in her skirt from yesterday.

She opens her eyes and sees Jane asleep beside her. What a way to wake up.

She smiles when she realises Jane didn't wake up crying during the night, no nightmares of being alone and hurting.

She moves in closer to the detective and holds her closer, when she pulls the woman in the detective wakes.

"Mmmm, Maur?"

"Hi Cara. Sleep well?"

"Very. You?"

"Yes, I did. I've realised I sleep better in your arms"

Jane smiles "Likewise. Maur.. Last night you asked why I picked last night for our date? I wasn't telling the truth when I answered you.."

Maura looks up "What then?"

"I was scared.. I wanted to do something nice for you, to prove I can be a good girlfriend. Show to you, you can love me-"

"-I do love you Jane"

"I know, its just I wanted to show you I'm together"

"Jane, are you? Together?"

She sighs "I'm trying. I am. It'll get better"

"Do you think counselling would help?" Maura asks and Jane looks her in the eye

"I-I didn't consider it.. Do you think it would?"

"Honestly? Jane, I think by talking to someone, who isn't me, you will begin to feel better. Its worth a shot..right?"

"I suppose.. It can't do any worse"

Maura nods and takes her hand "I'm so proud of you"

"I just want everything to be okay.."

"It will be Jane. It will be"

"Will you help me?"

"Every step of the way Cara. Every step"

"Do we have to get out of bed?" Jane asks as she pulls the woman closer

Maura looks at the bedside clock

"You don't, but sadly, I have work. I need to get ready"

Jane groans "Stay"

"I would if I could, I shouldn't be long we don't have a case. I'll try and be home by lunch"

"Okay.." Jane kisses the woman "I'll see you later"

xx

Maura walks in at around noon to an empty house.

She looks around and realises Jane hasn't been here in a while.

Then she sees the note on the fridge

'Maur,

I took your advice. I got an appointment. I'll be home later. There is a salad in the fridge for lunch.

Love you

Jane'

Maura smiles as she gets some salad for lunch, something tells her there will be a lot to discuss tonight.


	11. Chapter 11

Just Hold Me And Promise Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 11:

Around two hours later Jane walks in, reeking of alcohol and pale in the face.

Maura looks her over and sits her on the couch

"Getting drunk isn't the answer Cara.. Why didn't you just come home?"

Jane just shrugs and Maura sighs "You should sleep that off. We'll talk later"

"Don't be mad.." Jane says lying down on the couch

Maura just walks into the kitchen and sits at the table, nursing the wine she was drinking previously. What the hell happened..

xx

Jane wakes up to a pounding headache.

She groans and turns on the couch, then facing Maura.

"Maur?"

"Hi Jane. Here" she hands the woman aspirin and a water and Jane smiles

"Thank you"

She takes the painkiller and remembers why she got so drunk in the first place

"Maura. I-I don't really want to talk about it"

"Cara... You had to drink enough to get drunk to try and forget today. Why won't you speak to me? I wont judge you Jane"

"I know you wont Maura.. Okay.. The doctor said I should talk to you about it anyway. Maura, she told me her opinion on why I was cutting.."

"Okay. What did she say?"

"She said that I'm depressed.."

"Jane, I knew that." Maura said and Jane sighed

"I didn't.."

"At all?"

"No."

Maura took the woman's hand "Thats okay. We'll get through this one step at a time, alright? Together.."

"She put me on anti-depressants"

"You shouldn't be drinking.."

"I know... Sorry"

"Its your life Jane, you can do what you like, I can only say that i want you to be okay and advise you to do what the doctor said"

"I know.. Thanks Maura"

"Alright Cara. Now do you want dinner?"

Jane nods "Please"

Maura walks to the kitchen and begins to make up some dinner for them both. So its official, Jane's depressed.

xx

Maura lay awake that night as Jane slept beside her. She was thinking. About everything. The depression, the beautiful woman laying beside her, the relationship.

Everything wasn't as good as it could be. She knew that. But surely there was something she could do to make this easier?

Just improve things in general.

Yes. Starting from tomorrow she will make everything better, one piece at a time, no matter what it takes.


	12. Chapter 12

AN: Thanks for all the reviews and follows. Keep them up please :)

Just Hold Me And Promise Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 12:

Jane rolled over in bed, her neck sore from the way she slept on it, she felt over to Maura's side and the bed was empty.

She looked over at the clock, 7am. Where the hell was she at 7am?

"Maur?" She calls, no answer.

She walks down to the kitchen and hears the radio playing.

"_What you got if you ain't got love_

_the kind that you just want to give away_

_It's okay to open up_

_go ahead and let the light shine through_

_I know it's hard on a rainy day_

_you want to shut the world out and just be left alone_

_But don't run out on your faith_

_Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand_

_What you've been up there searching for_

_forever is in your hands_

_When you figure out love is all that matters after all_

_It sure makes everything else _

_seem so small_

_It's so easy to get lost inside_

_a problem that seems so big at the time_

_it's like a river thats so wide_

_it swallows you whole_

_While you sit around thinking about what you can't change_

_and worrying about all the wrong things_

_time's flying by_

_moving so fast_

_you better make it count 'cause you can't get it back_

_Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand_

_What you've been up there searching for_

_forever is in your hands_

_When you figure out love is all that matters after all_

_It sure makes everything else _

_Seem so small"_

Jane listened to Maura sing from the kitchen and felt the tears pool in her eyes.

Maura walks out of the kitchen in her pyjamas with two cups in her hand, still humming the end of the song. She looks up and sees Jane standing looking at her

"Cara, you're awake!" She smiled at the detective who just watched as she handed her a coffee

"Did I wake you?"

Jane shakes her head "No. I just woke up without you and was wondering where you went. What made you get up?"

"I couldn't sleep.."

"Are you okay?" Jane asked

"Yeah. I'm Fine, really Just an off night. You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm okay. Maur, who sings that song?"

"The one I was singing? ...Carrie Underwood"

"Is that the hot blonde?"

Maura laughs "Yes Jane that is the 'hot blonde'. Honey, have you any plans for today?"

Jane cocks her head, looking at the woman confused

"No? Why?"

"I have plans for us"

"Do you not have work?" Jane asks

"No Cara. I took some time. So, will you trust me enough to go along with all of this?"

Jane smiles "Trust you enough? What the hell have you got planned?"

Maura laughed "You'll see. Go get into comfortable clothes"

Jane smirked and walked down to the bedroom to get changed wondering what the medical examiner had planned for them.


	13. Chapter 13

Just Hold Me And Promise Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 13:

"Maura today was really great. What made you decide to come up with all this anyway?" Jane asked as they walked down the street

Maura shrugged "I don't really know to be honest. I just thought we should get out together and have some fun, ya know?"

Jane smiles "Rock climbing was fun"

Maura laughed "I thought you'd enjoy that. I preferred the time in the park to be honest"

Jane slips her arm around Maura's waist "That was nice too. Just laying with you.. Thank you Maura."

"We aren't finished yet dear" Maura smiles

"We aren't? What are we doing now?"

"Getting dinner of course"

Jane smiles as Maura turns the corner "Are we going to the Chinese?"

"I may have gotten us a reservation at a certain restaurant... Jing-Lo Palace sound familiar?"

Jane smiles and kisses Maura's cheek "You know me"

"I'd want too after four years, wouldn't I?"

Jane smiles as they reach the Chinese "Ladies first.."

Maura smiles and whispers in the woman's ear "You're hot when you act butch Cara"

Jane gently pushes the woman in the door in front of them and they get seated at their table, set for the perfect meal.

xx

"I'm too full" Jane whined as they walked up to Maura's apartment hand in hand

"Yes honey, you ate too much"

"I always eat too much from there... They are awesome. They are food kings.. Ya know what are amazing? Their chicken.. I'd eat plates and plates of it, Its just so-"

"-You just said you were full Jane! Stop discussing food!" Maura laughs

"Sorry" Jane smiles as they walk in the door, she making a b-line to the bedroom, Maura following

"You want to lie down?" Jane asks as she takes off her tracksuit and trainers, Maura obviously checking her out. Jane smiles noticing

"Hey Maura, my eyes? They are up here" she says gesturing up to her face

Maura blushes a deep red "Sorry.. What were you saying?"

"Should we lie down?"

Maura nods and lays on her side, Jane laying on the other and wrapping the younger woman in her arms

"Thank you for today Maur, it was very sweet of you."

"Its no problem Cara. We deserve to have fun together, why not now?" She smiles

"Exactly. Maur... I want to go back to work"

"You do? Jane thats great! What made you change your mind?"

"I dunno... Lots of stuff. I just miss it I suppose"

"I'm glad. We'll talk to Cavanagh in the morning"

"Thanks Maur"

"No problem Cara. Now, I'm going to get some sleep." She leans over and kisses the woman "Goodnight, Love you"

"Love you too Maur"


	14. Chapter 14

Just Hold Me And Promise Everything Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 14:

**6 Months Later**

It had been six months since Jane had been diagnosed with depression and thanks to Maura, was feeling considerably better. She had only felt the urge to cut once and that was on a particularly bad day, which Maura had helped her through.

"Maura?" Jane smiled walking into the morgue

Maura looks up at her girlfriend "You want these results Jane?"

"Please" Jane says putting her hands into her pockets, feeling the velvet box, she fumbles with it in her hands as Maura turns to grab the manilla folder.

As she turns back her breath hitches seeing Jane on one knee "Marry me Maura"

Maura stares down at the woman, tears streaking her face

"Cara... Of course!"

Jane laughs as she lifts the crying medical examiner up, wrapping her in an embrace "I love you" she cries

"Love you too Cara.." Maura says

"I know its not all that romantic-" Jane starts and Maura cuts in

"Its perfect. You are perfect Jane"

Jane smiles "I cleared it with Cavanagh, we can go home"

"How did you manage that?"

"I have my ways.." Jane laughs kissing the younger woman again.

xx

"Jane... That was amazing"

"I never fail to impress" Jane shoots back winking

"Don't get too cocky dear" Maura says wrapping her in an embrace

"You weren't complaining about that earlier"

"-Okay, enough innuendoes" Maura laughs

"I cant believe we are getting married.." Jane says, wonder in her voice

"You never thought about it?"

"I did. A lot. But I never expected it to actually happen, saying that I never thought you'd like me back"

Maura scoffs "How could I not?"

"I don't know.. I'm complicated."

"That you are. Thats why its so wonderful when I uncover something about you I'd never known before. You have depth dear"

Jane sighs "You always know what to say, don't you?"

"I try" Maura smiles as they fall asleep in each others embrace.

xx

Jane is sitting in the apartment the next day when Maura had gone to pick up lunch just staring at a photo of them both together.

They had the perfect relationship.

She hears a knock on the door, expecting it to be Maura but when she answers there is no one there.

Jane looks down the hall then notices the envelope at her feet.

She picks it up and opens it, all it contains is a page with a website url on it.

Jane goes to her laptop and types in the link and a video pops up on the screen. She sees Annabel. What the fuck?

She hits play and Annabel starts to talk

'Jay! Sweetheart, congratulations on the engagement. Shame you'll never get to see her in the beautiful white dress..'

She turns the camera to Maura who is tied up, gagged and obviously in pain.

Jane drops the cup she was holding, it shattering on the wooden floor.

"Maura" she cries looking as the woman tries to free herself but fails, obviously bound too tight.

Jane grabs her cell, hands shaking "Barry.. I need you. Maura's been abducted"


	15. Chapter 15

Just Hold Me And Promise Everything Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 15:

Maura groaned through the gag as Annabel laughed

"She wont find us" Annabel smiled to the distressed medical examiner who had tears streaking her face "I'm smarter than that"

xx

"Jane I cant trace it!" Barry said to the detective who was pacing the room

"Try again!" She snapped then amended "Sorry. I know you're trying"

"We'll get her Jane. We will. Okay, lets work backwards, where does Annabel live?"

"Well, when we we together she lived in New York.. Thats a little far though now, she more than likely has an apartment here.. Look her up-"

"-doing it now.."

xx

"Jane! Here's her address, we'll go!" Barry said grabbing his jacket

"Thank God! Barry you're a life saver!"

The pair left both running to the car.

xx

"Annabel! Open the goddamn door" Jane hissed

Barry smirks "Way to be subtle.."

"Annabel!" Jane pounds and then decides to kick in the door

No one there. Ugh!

"Clear Barry.."

"Okay, look around Jane! See if you can see anything to lead us too her"

xx

"Jane! A lease! I've found a lease to... a warehouse?"

"Lets go!" Jane rushed, hurrying out the door

xx

As they arrived Jane hopped from the car and she snuck around to the window, seeing Annabel standing over a not moving Maura.

She drew her gun and kicked in the door "Annabel, get away from her, now" she hissed

"Jane! Baby you came!"

"I did. For Maura.."

"What?" Annabel said dejected

"Yeah. My fiancée, Annabel. I love her! Not you.. Get away from her"

Annabel pulled a gun and pointed it at Jane "Don't lie to me!" she took a shot and before she had the chance to shoot again Barry had two bullets in her chest.

He looks to Jane who had a bullet in her arm "Jane? You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, check on Maur?" She said tying her jacket around her arm

Barry walks over to Maura. She was barley breathing and her pulse was thready

He takes his cell and calls 911. They assure him they are in the way and he props up Maura's head

"Its alright Maura. We're here. You're safe" he says and the woman groans lightly

"Jane, she's responsive" Barry said and Jane walked over to the woman, taking her hand

"I love you Maur. You're okay. Shes dead. Gone. She cant hurt us again"

The paramedics walked inside and got Maura onto a stretcher and brought her to the ambulance.

"Jane, you go with her. I'll get the scene processed"

"Thanks Frost"

"You'd do the same for me Jane"

Jane nods and stands into the ambulance "See you Barr"

"Bye Jane"

xx

AN: Annabel's dead and Maura's baldy hurt, Jane's shot in the arm, all the drama! Review please :)


	16. Chapter 16

Just Hold Me And Promise Everything Will Be Fixed:

Chapter 16:

"How is she?" Barry asked walking into Maura's room seeing Jane sitting by the womans bed

"Stable but unconscious"

Barry nods "She needs time to heal, its best she is unconscious"

"I just want to talk with her, ya know? Make sure shes okay?"

"I'm sure she's okay Jane. Don't worry, you saved her, thats what you should be focused on.."

"We saved her Barry. And you saved me, you shot her before she got a chance to get me again.." Jane pointed to the bandage "Thank you"

"Thats what partners are for" Barry replied

"Yeah, well thanks Frost"

"Not a problem. Did the nurses say when she'd wake up?"

"The morning they think"

"Well thats something isn't it? Listen, you get some sleep Jane. Lay in the chair, I'll stay up with her for a while. If she wakes up, I'll wake you"

"Barry I don't think-"

"Jane, you look shattered. Just try and sleep at least. I promise if anything changes I'll wake you"

"Thank you.." Jane hugs him and he pars her back

"Rest, Jane"

xx

"Jane.." Barry whispered to the sleeping woman

Jane groans and Barry taps her "She's waking up Jane"

Jane sits up "Maur?"

Barry smiles "Go over to her"

Jane walks over and takes her hand as Maura's eyes open "Jane?"

"Yeah baby.. How are you feeling? You in pain?"

"No.. I'm okay. What happened?"

"We found her, she had you. She was mouthing off and shot me-"

"What?!"

"Sorry, shot me in the arm, its only a flesh wound"

"Oh.. Okay"

"And Barry shot her twice, he killed her. Then we got you here"

"Thank you Cara"

"Not a problem" Jane replied

"You should sleep Maur. Try and sleep it off"

"Yeah. Lay with me?"

Jane nods and lays beside her "Love you" she says wrapping her arms around the woman

"Love you too Cara"

Jane lay awake that night, everything was okay. Annabel's dead, Maura's wounds would heal and her own depression was gradually lifting. Life was back on track.

Now, she prayed it would stay that way.

xx

AN: Okay, I'm sorry, but I'm going to leave it here. I have severe writers block on this story and loads of school assignments/trips in the next few weeks so dragging this out would be pointless. I might do a sequel later if I get a good plot to it. Hope you enjoyed it. Review please.


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